Back in December 2006, I was dating / in a relationship with a boy (let's use this phrase) named Stev
Stev was still a virgin.
Very much so.
Yet, in December of 2006, I did not know this; I was not aware of this state of being.
To be honest, had I known this, maybe things would have been easier? Who knows. At least the doctor who I went to get a Screening Test from afterwards wouldn't have given me such a damn strange look when I gave him the equally strange/vague answer!
I had previously asked Steve if he had had other partners, and each time he had been quite vague.
Finally, that fateful Wednesday night after a drunken night of Beer and Salsa (a party my friends threw every end of the quarter on Dead Day prior to Finals), I stumbled back to his dormitory with the one main thought on my mind: SEX.
Yes, I get very horny when I drink~ (tmi? i think not!)
So what happens next?
I can only look back on this and laugh. I've always wanted to share this with others; and so here it goes.
I get into bed, and we start fooling around. I ask him again, "Have you had sex before?" [When I first entered this relationship, to be safe, I had gone and gotten tested...cuz y'know, that's what you do! He hadn't so I didn't know exactly what to think but just let it slide.]
His reply was less vague then before; but possibly between being drunk and horny, I still didn't give it quite a lot of thought, "I think I may have...in high school...at a party...after a few drinks...I don't quite remember," he said non-committally.
See, dear loves, I didn't know at this point in time that he was actually rather a loner back in high school and did not socialize very well. I took his word for it that he was "experienced", and so with a wry grin, we went for it.
There are a few things that should have clued me into this being his first time:
a) He did not know how to put on a condom - - me in my drunken state somehow managed to pull the darn thing on.
b) He didn't know exactly where to put it; instead, I was on top and had to guide this situation...made infinitely more difficult while in a drunken under-age stupor.
c) He came really really fast!
In retrospect -- this horrid relationship somehow managed to endure for almost 3 years -- this should have been my clue to leave this relationship at the get go.
The main point/question is: if you are a VIRGIN and a guy, do not be afraid to say so when you are explicitly asked quite a few times. I will not make fun of you. I will not reject you.
If I already like you, and we're heading in that direction, then I will fuck you.
In fact, I'll blow your motherfuxking mind (mebe)...
But please don't come up with a stupid ass lie and claim that you are when you aren't!
That's stupid!
Don't be stupid and please don't lie -- makes everyone unhappy and you will have a very unsatisfied female partner!!! haha.
<3 Delilah
