Thursday, July 14, 2011

Celluar Phone Disaster

So last night, Yours Truly, had a terrible dream. 
"Terrible?" you ask skeptically with a raised eyebrow and a quirky grin, "Why it couldn't be that terrible!"
Nay, dear lover, it was not a simple terrible dream in which one dies a horrible death; it wasn't that mundane. Instead, it was a dream filled with tragedy, apprehension, and anguish:  I had unwittingly forgotten my cell phone charger at home (or at least the home of my dream world) and my phone was about to die and I had to find my way out of the ghetto and into another ghetto and it was the middle of the night and it was a Saturday night [ which i could have been using to get my hypothetical party on]!!! *gasp*

I see your your twisted faces through your computer screen, the disbelief flashing across your widened eyes, your jaw dropping in shock and trepidation. 

Yes. 

That was me, except on an incredibly frightened -- by which I mean I was scouring every nook and cranny of Costco, a random Umbrella Corporation building (for those who don't know, this is a Resident Evil allusion), random grocery stores (with lots of Gatorade and Cheese - Its)--whilst running away from mobsters and lab rats, talking to my friends on my already dying cell phone by freaking out that said object of communication was well on its way to imminent death, and helping little old ladies with their groceries (then getting whacked in the face by a pan!)-- just to find a cell phone charger cord that could plug into my cute lil' car's outlet! 

I suppose you'd hope that this story ended happily. After all, I did have my amazing smart phone with me, and of course, being a smartphone it had the potential to rock my world (which it did, just not as sexily as it should have). Unfortunately, love, you would be wrong. In fact, I never found the cell phone charger; not only that, I forced myself awake because I was so scared about continuing my drive through the ghetto with a GPS-on-phone that would probably die on me! 
C'mon~ That's a freaking nightmare! That is the worst nightmare ever!! (and I've had some pretty bad ones: how about that time when I died 9 times, each variance a different one than the last, but only slightly while being able to feel my blood and bones realign upon respawning?)

"Wow, that was anti-climatic" I hear you mutter disappointingly, almost spitefully, under your breath.

But dear readers, you are missing the moral of the story: DO NOT LEAVE / FORGET YOUR CELL PHONE CHARGERS AT HOME (especially if you have smartphone).

Oh, but I see you there, snickering that you are so special that you do not have to worry about it because you do not have a smartphone. Psh. "Who would?" you scoff. 
Believe me, love, one day YOU WILL ALL HAVE SMARTPHONES,  then you will not have heeded my word, gone out, forgotten your charger, and your phone would have died and your remains shall be found by early morning joggers (youtube's community channel ref) because you could not escape from those scary monsters that follow you because you couldn't use your GPS because your phone died. Oh wait, did I mention your phone died because you forgot your charger? 

So if you may pass me in the street and I'm looking rather fretful, and you may ask me "what's wrong?", and while I may say "nothing", flash you a winning smile, and entertain you with another anecdote...make note, that fretful (but otherwise fake response to you) was probably me realizing and then worrying that I may have left my charger at home and my phone's battery is soon to die.

(That, and I probably missed  calls& txts to/from my lovers. Can't keep all them lover waiting, now can I?)

<3 
Delilah

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